thinking

I've been thinking a lot lately. hahahhahah That sounds ridiculous, but I really have- or at least have finally begun paying attention to my thoughts- and it's been nice. 

I began believing in God, I guess, untraditionally, perhaps? but still affective. I've began giving myself a little grace for the things I've done and think I will continue to do so. The things that are hard to stay away from, are still you know, hard but alas we persist. I've transitioned to hot coffee in the mornings and wear open toed shoes LMFAO that sounds, again, ridiculous but that's a story for another time.

I saw this clip the other day of FKA Twigs in an interview saying "like, where are the thinkers? I feel like back in the day we had so many thinkers, where are they now?" and you can see the interviewee like shift uncomfortably in her chair and she, for a second, doesn’t know how to proceed and just goes "yeaaah.." Girl huhhhhh. No hate FKA TWIGS (like if she'd ever see this blog) but it’s a little funny. The thinkers are in school. Can being so above in a hierarchy make you not aware of the classes below you? Maybe there are some things are just mutually exclusive? It's just a thought. 

"I feel as if I’m on the edge of a giant rock on the peak of the mountain that I just climbed for the past four and a half hours. I concluded I've made this journey in preparation for the next mountain that I must climb, the time elongating as the climbs increasingly get harder and steeper. The top is worth it, and the hike down is always easier I suppose."

Thoughts I’ve had this week:

•   How do you distinguish between what you want to do and what you should do? I guess if one must really ask if they ACTUALLY want to do something then they must probably not really want to do it . But then why do phrases like "getting cold feet" exist? 

•   I've been very paranoid lately about smoking outside, in Texas. I talked to my friend Katy about it, and she mentioned it might be due to being "stressed" out about something but to be frank, I didn't think I was? Maybe I've just been trying to not pay attention. I never would have fathomed it would have worked.

Song of the Week: I Don't Love You Anymore x Brutus VIII