NYC and me

I have trouble differentiating if I'm abnormal or if I'm a narcissist. I feel like I can’t be myself and I'm not sure if everyone feels the same way I do. I mean, I can currently feel the rhythm of my heartbeat increase as I feel my anxiety climb- which! -was produced by writing that sentence alone. What a funny, weird thing. 

One of my favorite parts about living in New York was realizing that I saw myself everywhere. Like I could see others, alone- not to be mistaken for lonely- out and about doing the same things as me and it made me feel at ease truthfully. Poof! Anxiety gone.

The way I think of it as, is, I never felt alone there. Kind of like how a  mass of singulars becomes plural?

It was like this; being alone was comfort but being in comfort with a mass of strangers was joyous.

In New York I truly just felt like another neighbor. No one questioned who I was and to someone who apparently does not know how to just CHILL, that was the best gift a place could give me. I was a big fan of getting high and going outside. New York has been (to this day at least,) the only place I have not once felt judged. Gotten bickered at sure, but never have I been made to feel ashamed of myself. I'm unaware as to why this is, but I'm sure if it's a reflection of something inside me. 

I've been feeling restless for the past few days. I've also been drinking a little more recently (in like the past week) which is not particularly a habit I wish to pick back up lol. 

I can feel the sun burning into my back. I'm wearing a black shirt and could really use a coffee. Bentley's out here with me and I NEED to go workout. Looking forward to returning to a place where every day feels more like this. 

Song of the Week: Foggy x Quiet Life