It's time to say goodbye

I'm in a state where I cannot say anything because saying something is already too much. This past week has been a constant state of exhaustion, and I cannot live for other people anymore. The last string that connects me to this ground and I no longer want to be attached. Don't worry I don't mean it as in I no longer want to live in general- I'm still here for the ride- I just no longer want to live HERE. 

Hiding the physicality of things does not make it go away. Money has always been the number one stressor in my life, I just thought I would only have to worry about myself. This is why I don’t want kids. 

I cannot ignore these things because I am meant to live the life I want and unfortunately for me that means finding a solution to the problems at hand. I cannot be responsible for people other than myself (and Bentley of course). 

Maybe in the future it will be different, but for now it just is not. I'm being beckoned to get closer, waves of hands from familiar faces, but they do not seem to care that I’m already on the ledge. I don't know if they are unaware that the next step would mean my fall or if they are simply choosing just not to care but I'm starting to realize that the time to halt is now. I wish I could save you, but it is not my job. 

Song of the Week: Im so Tired x Fugazi

(what a classic, short but reliable)